I've finally come up with a good use for outsourcing. Most companies have been going at this all wrong. The norm is to lay off thousands of American workers and have a product produced overseas by lower paid employees who will work without benefits. I want to save some real money. I think we should outsource the higher paid jobs, starting with Congressmen and Senators. That's right, lay those fat cats off. And if a major U.S. corporation like an airline can be excused from its pension obligations, I think we can cut off pensions for these leaches too. We could recruit business and political science majors from universities around the world to come and represent us in the house and senate. I'll bet there are thousands of qualified men and women who would do this for about fifteen grand a year and no benefits. They would probably even come up with a way to get through a year's worth of legislative work in about four months. If that worked we might be able to look at outsourcing the judicial, and even the executive branches of government. I've often said that the best qualified candidates for public office would never take the jobs. The most intelligent candidates would not want to be subjected to the invasion of privacy, the ridicule. Many who defend illegal immigration point out that these immigrants take jobs that no other Americans want. It looks like a perfect fit for me. "The chair now recognizes the senator from the great state of Columbia, er, Massachusetts." "Senator Martinez, the floor is yours"
David Blaine [9:00 AM]