You are What You Eat
Better Living with Chemistry
Must be strong, must be fit,
eat what’s healthy, not that shit.
Content labels so verbose-
Sense of taste not so keen?
Natural foods don’t last too late,
just add potasium sorbate.
(Or if you can not stand that line
just use a lil' nitrosamine.)
Lecithins emulsify most
of all the gunk you buy.
And if sugar’s not in your game
you can sweeten it up with aspartame.
To teach your powders
not to cake,
just add a dose of silicate.
Or if your milk shake seems
thicken it up with carageenan.
With all the crap we ever ate
we'll sure die soon instead of late.
but those who over 50 died,
no longer need formaldahyde.
But the corpse will look young,
and the plot will thicken,
he'll smell like roses and
taste like chicken.
David Blaine [5:23 PM]
Good Bye, Nick
Nick Berg's fate is sickening. It proves only that there are heartless butchers all over the world.
There were three retired types discussing it at the House of Knowledge (barber shop) today.
I asked if it was worse than dragging a man in Texas down a dirt road chained to the back
of a truck. No, they had to admit it wasn't. One of the men, a WW II vet, suggested that
the Iraqi's probably needed a man like Sadam Hussein to handle them. Eureka! Signs
of inteligent life on U.S. soil. Now umpteen billion dollars and thousands of deaths later
someone figured out that what works in the U.S. may not always work someplace else.
Thank you, and Good Bye Nick, I wish I could have known you.
David Blaine [7:07 PM]
Once in the south was a man named George who owned more wevils than anyone else. He became known as
the wevil master. George had a visitor who wanted to buy two wevils from him. George said no, he wouldn't sell them, but he would let two out to the man for a charge of a dollar each per month. Each month the man sent George a money order for two dollars. One day George ran for high office and surprisingly, he won. When asked why they voted for him, people replied, "because he was the lessor of two wevils".
Puh dum pump! Thank you very much, I'm here all week. Try the veal.
David Blaine [11:22 AM]
Ode to a Flowering Tree
Pity the poor magnolia tree.
She stands naked the winter
through, arms upstretched
Come spring nature rewards her
with a splendid new white dress,
the envy of most other trees.
But magnolia is a precocious child.
In a week, perhaps two, while dancing
in some rainstorm, she'll pull off
her new clothes and lay them on the ground.
Standing a short time again denuded, until
mother gets her more practical wear, this time
the same green issue as the rest of the children.
If I were a tree I would want to grow by a
magnolia. To once each year dance in the rain
with her as she takes off that beautiful dress.
David Blaine [4:14 PM]
Took J to see Cabaret at a local civic theatre Saturday night as her mother's day gift from me. We were looking forward to it, but knew nothing about it. The story is about an American visiting in Berlin just prior to W W II. By intermission I was emotionally disturbed. J went to the rest room and I fought back strange feelings of fear and anger. If you've never been let me share the lyrics of the piece that closes the first act.
Tomorrow Belongs to Me
The sun on the meadow is summery warm. The stag in the forest runs free. But gather together to greet the storm. Tomorrow belongs to me.
The branch of the linden is leafy and green' The Rhine gives its gold to the sea. But somewhere a glory awaits unseen. Tomorrow belongs to me.
The babe in his cradle is closing his eyes. The blossom embraces the bee. But soon' says a whisper;"Arise' arise' Tomorrow belongs..."[EMCEE 'spoken]To me!
This is sung by a chorus of Germans goose stepping in place giving the nazi salute across their chest in unison. At the last line they pivot in unison, backs to the audience. The spotlight plays on the emcee, a Hitler figure. Just then the chorus goes silent in time for him to speak "to me!"
At the end of the second act a movie screen came down and a slide show was presented in rapid fire succession, starting with pictures from concentration camps, and ending with the World Trade Center disaster.
I doubt I am expressing myself adequately here, but the whole presentation went from boring to scary in a couple of hours. I kept thinking that we Americans are the ones singing "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" now. And I can't forget one line one of the cabaret girls kept saying about the nazis, "it's just politics, it doesn't concern me". scary.
David Blaine [8:45 AM]